If I could pick one person to hate, it would be me. I hate the way I cry when iapos;m frusterated. I hate the way my chest feels like itapos;s exploding when the odds are against me. I hate the way I leave everything to the last minute. I hate how guilty I feel when people tell me itapos;s all my fault. I hate me, so much that I feel like printing out a picture of my face, just for the purpose of ripping it to shreds. Iapos;ve been called strong, and I know that my strength is just one of those AKAapos;s for me not being a big baby and crying again. I know Alvaro goes through alot of pressure and irritation with me, because of the person I am. When he pours his heart out to me, itapos;s like heapos;s filled a picher with his love, and heapos;s pouring all his words onto my heart, so that I donapos;t have to think.. I�just have to feel. Since when did man come up with emotions? Good Lord. I guess the hate exists to show a person what love feels like. The guilt shows how good it is to be pure. The sad just show how good the happiness could be, will be, and has to be. And when I feel like this? Itapos;s terrible. Itapos;s hell. On earth. Like every fucking day someone is riding on my back. Like my sister. Fucking bitch. This life iapos;m living is Godapos;s wrestling cage, the boxed in ones.. You know? Where the guys are all like RAWRRR�GRRRRR And you see one guy climbing up the cage, and the other rips him off the cage and smacks him on the ground. Thatapos;s what my house is like My sister should be voluntereed to wrestle one of those guys. Sheapos;d cry.
But let me tell you this, ladies and gentlemen: I, Brittany Lynn Rios, am not perfect in any way. When you tell me I am, I wonapos;t believe you. When you say itapos;s not my fault, just cut to it- I already know it is. There is one person who I believe, and thatapos;s Alvaro. So what if my family hates him. They donapos;t fucking take the time to look a little closer, and see how I need him like my body needs blood. They donapos;t see that heapos;s a vital part of me.. Like how iapos;m made of 75 water. Iapos;m made of 100 Alvaro. Corny, yeah duh. Let me tell you, LiveJournal, iapos;ve made mistakes. A million. Plus one, oh yeah. But iapos;m making you a promise, myself as well, and iapos;ve got to stick to it. I need to have a set of words to grasp onto, and let this be it:
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